Virgo Is not the Same as Virgo Intacta
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In the Fall of 2017, as part of research for my MA thesis in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and Expressive Arts Therapy, I encounter the distinction between Virgo - a self-sovereign woman or girl, and virgo intacta, a sexually inexperienced woman or girl. I know there is something transformative in this distinction, but I don't know what, yet.
I find myself referring to this intriguing possibility in my work with some women therapy clients. Virgo means self-sovereign, I say. I ask, What might it be like to live a self-sovereign life, while choosing connection with partners, children, friends, family? What might it be like to be a good steward of one's own lands, gifts, body, mind, and soul? How might that change one's relationships. work, and play? Gradually I start to wonder about the Virgin Mary. What if she really is Virgo and not virgo intacta, after all? What if the whole point of her is her sovereignty, and not (as patriarchal stories emphasize) her obedience and inexperience? I remember my mother telling me about the Names of Mary, which she had chanted with the Sacred Heart nuns who were her boarding school teachers and mentors. So I look around until I find the Litany of Loreto. Some of the names land in my heart as pure poetry: Sedes sapientiae - seat of wisdom Stella matutinae - star of the morning Speculum justitiae - mirror of justice Ianua caeli - gate of heaven Causa nostrae laetitiae - cause of our joys Rosa mystica - mystic rose And others inspire awe, once I flip the switch on what Virgo means: Virgo potens - powerful sovereign one Virgo clemens - merciful sovereign one Virgo prudentissima - most prudent sovereign one I fall in love. |
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Black Madonna Pilgrimage
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How does a pilgrimage constellate? From a field of stars... the campo stellae that gives the Camino de Compostela its name.
So I say yes. Yes. |
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The cape arrives. I carve a new rubber block in the shape of a four-pointed star and dig out a series of kid's star stamps from a thrift-store collection in my studio. Laura, the costume artist in Lithuania, has lined the cape in a paler blue that takes fabric ink beautifully. I print galaxies of white stars onto the lining and replace the cape's shiny metal buttons with handmade NH stag-antler ones.
I think about my past Regalia projects. All of them were grounded in self-portraiture and self-transformation. I know I will be wearing the cape and allowing it to change me – and I also feel the call to something that will encompass the shared quality of embodied pilgrim experience. What if I ask other pilgrims to join me in creating a collective Marian Apparition? Surely, the more Marys, the better.
Sending my main baggage along via a forwarding service arranged by my travel agency (hoorah!) frees me up to carry a day-pack containing only:
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all photographs copyright Julie Püttgen
[from my pilgrim's journal]
Lacapelle-Marival is already Black Madonna territory – she is in retrospective and reproduction in the church here, with red-tipped yellow roses at her feet. She is a Pietà near the begonias; she is the First World War dead, the abducted, the disappeared, and the returned. Meanwhile, I am working my way through a three-course dinner while salsa music plays right behind me to enliven the nightly non-speaking of local middle-aged couples.
Marian mahamudra: instead of receiving information, she transmits it. Abhaya. Fear not. Stop this now. I am here. Be still. Listen. Take courage. This world is a blessing. These gestures feel at home within this childless Mary, with her traveling, awakening ways. This is the Mary Magdalene, rather than the Mother.
Lacapelle-Marival is already Black Madonna territory – she is in retrospective and reproduction in the church here, with red-tipped yellow roses at her feet. She is a Pietà near the begonias; she is the First World War dead, the abducted, the disappeared, and the returned. Meanwhile, I am working my way through a three-course dinner while salsa music plays right behind me to enliven the nightly non-speaking of local middle-aged couples.
Marian mahamudra: instead of receiving information, she transmits it. Abhaya. Fear not. Stop this now. I am here. Be still. Listen. Take courage. This world is a blessing. These gestures feel at home within this childless Mary, with her traveling, awakening ways. This is the Mary Magdalene, rather than the Mother.
Embodying Apparition
[from my pilgrim's journal, Boston Logan Airport]
“Oh, this again,” I think, tucking into a strange alcove of yellow metal hazard stanchions. I set up the camera on a post and suss out a composition between a floating canoe and the tops of the escalators to gates E1-E3. I strip off my jacket, button the deer antler clasps of the cloak, and step out. I turn, turn again. The timer goes. There: Marian Apparition Number One.
I am a dark blue tower, cape flaring. Two passing TSA people decide, whatever this is, it isn’t their problem. Furtive. The divine feminine darts in, shakes her feathers, folds them back up. This is a practice of not-stagnating. This is a secret exhibitionist’s practice. My thrift-store boy’s Brasil futbol sweatshirt, hiking boots, KN 95, don’t show up in the image. I am too busy walking away. I fold the camera into the dry bag with the cape and strap everything to the outside of my pack.
“Oh, this again,” I think, tucking into a strange alcove of yellow metal hazard stanchions. I set up the camera on a post and suss out a composition between a floating canoe and the tops of the escalators to gates E1-E3. I strip off my jacket, button the deer antler clasps of the cloak, and step out. I turn, turn again. The timer goes. There: Marian Apparition Number One.
I am a dark blue tower, cape flaring. Two passing TSA people decide, whatever this is, it isn’t their problem. Furtive. The divine feminine darts in, shakes her feathers, folds them back up. This is a practice of not-stagnating. This is a secret exhibitionist’s practice. My thrift-store boy’s Brasil futbol sweatshirt, hiking boots, KN 95, don’t show up in the image. I am too busy walking away. I fold the camera into the dry bag with the cape and strap everything to the outside of my pack.
all photographs copyright Julie Püttgen
[from my pilgrim's journal]
So many of the cape photos are of me from the back.
She is walking away, she is leading the way, she is anyone, she is on the road, she is a priest, she is a monk. In the cathedral at Le Puy, at the 7 AM mass sending the pilgrims away, the priest (male, of course) is in a splendid hooded green and gold surplice, over shining white. A goldwork sun radiates from his solar plexus, at the level of his gesturing, sacramental hands. Meanwhile, the two nuns assisting are mute, heads covered, feet bare, in thin gray robes that match the thinness of their bodies. Mary’s blue cape is a taking on of color, of priestly splendor, of visibility.
So many of the cape photos are of me from the back.
She is walking away, she is leading the way, she is anyone, she is on the road, she is a priest, she is a monk. In the cathedral at Le Puy, at the 7 AM mass sending the pilgrims away, the priest (male, of course) is in a splendid hooded green and gold surplice, over shining white. A goldwork sun radiates from his solar plexus, at the level of his gesturing, sacramental hands. Meanwhile, the two nuns assisting are mute, heads covered, feet bare, in thin gray robes that match the thinness of their bodies. Mary’s blue cape is a taking on of color, of priestly splendor, of visibility.
A Collective Apparition for Times of Trouble
all photographs copyright Julie Püttgen and published with permission from fellow Apparitions
Here is how I meet my first two Apparitions:
Partway up the steep pumice-cobbled steps leading up to Notre Dame du Puy, I hear a woman ask her husband in English, "I wonder if we could ask someone to take a picture of us?"
"Why yes," I say, "I'd be very glad to."
It is true that the cape carries a kind of power – felt as much by those who gravitate towards it as by those who are repelled by it.
What pilgrims talk about since they do not talk about spiritual practice:
Where to stay
Which hostels are full
Food
Their lives back home
Any hilly parts of the road
Characters encountered along the road, especially the irresistible seller of large bear-turd energy bombs in a wheelbarrow
Vipers, ravines, and places to get lost
Partway up the steep pumice-cobbled steps leading up to Notre Dame du Puy, I hear a woman ask her husband in English, "I wonder if we could ask someone to take a picture of us?"
"Why yes," I say, "I'd be very glad to."
It is true that the cape carries a kind of power – felt as much by those who gravitate towards it as by those who are repelled by it.
What pilgrims talk about since they do not talk about spiritual practice:
Where to stay
Which hostels are full
Food
Their lives back home
Any hilly parts of the road
Characters encountered along the road, especially the irresistible seller of large bear-turd energy bombs in a wheelbarrow
Vipers, ravines, and places to get lost
Church-Body, Ancestor-Body
I walk for two weeks; I spend a little less than a week in Paris; and come home.
Here are some questions that stick with me:
These kinds of questions are gifts.
Here are some questions that stick with me:
- I believe in the power of individual therapy. It has helped me. and I have seen it help my clients. Still - even though thousands of people engage in this process, Therapy Client, as a role, lacks the collective social support that Pilgrims enjoy, with shared narratives, identifiable sites, practices, symbols, practices, songs, and itineraries to hold them. How might Therapy Client become a better-supported, better-recognized, more physically-grounded role?
- Why are so many churches so empty? How might they be renewed as places of respite, reflection, and connection?
- What might it be like to adopt sung offices - matins, lauds, vespers, etc – into daily life as a layperson? I am convinced these ancient practices offer powerful resources for transition times - from home into work, from work into midday pause, from work back home.
- Who wants to chant the Names of Mary with me?
These kinds of questions are gifts.
Marian Apparitions on the Road
I am actively seeking opportunities to share, publish, exhibit, and speak about this project. If you have ideas about where you'd like to see Marian Apparitions show up in some form, please contact me.